The other day, I got some unexpected news, and it put me in kind of a funk *real talk*. I wanted to shut down and try not to feel what I was feeling. I wanted to forget about everything, escape it, and numb the ache. It seemed like it would be easier that way.
But then I got home to my wife and my daughter (who both love me beyond belief). And then I made some coffee (and we all know coffee is one of the ways that God says “I love you” to us). And something came over me, like an overwhelming total wave.
      Upon arriving home, and receiving that kind of love – right when I wanted to push it all out – I was granted the gracious awareness that my feelings are not final. My feelings do not dictate the reality of all that is in my life. God is good. All the time. Even when life takes so unexpected turns.
      Truly, there are so many areas in your life where you’re loved – where you’re loved no matter what you do, or how you feel. So please don’t push away that love. Don’t push love away when you need it the most.
      Choose to experience all your feelings – even the low feelings, even when your emotions scare you, even when how you’re processing it makes others confused. The truth is: when we shut ourselves down from extremely low emotions, we tend to limit our ability to feel extremely high emotions, as well.
      One of the most inspiring things in Scripture is King David’s honesty and vulnerability in the Psalms about the ways in which he experience the full spectrum of emotion. And it is in that authenticity that he often discovers hope and love. Check out how he processes this in Psalm 42:9-11…
I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”
As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?”
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
      You have the freedom to be real and honest about the way you are feeling. So be authentic. It’s ok. Feel all of it. And be courageous enough to ask for, and receive, love. In the authenticity, you will find love, hope, and real connection.
      And maybe that situation that caused you to feel so low will turn out to be an ironic grace.

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